Post by marlene scarlett mckinnon on Apr 4, 2009 11:49:53 GMT -5
I don't care if you're religious or not, this is just the funniest thing (although Minnie's Death Eater guide might top this... it's hard for me to decide). These are just a bunch mistakes/typos and what not involving church stuff:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
>>> --------------------------
>>> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get
>>> rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
>>> Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'
>>> giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>>> --------------------------
>>> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need
>>> all the help they can get.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>>> --------------------------
>>> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
>>> hall. Music will follow.
>>> --------------------------
>>> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice...
>>> --------------------------
>>> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
>>> deceased person you want remembered.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
>>> entertainment and gracious hostility.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
>>> follow.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
>>> They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>>> --------------------------
>>> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
>>> across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
>>>
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
>>> --------------------------
>>> Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get
>>> rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
>>> Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'
>>> giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>>> --------------------------
>>> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need
>>> all the help they can get.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>>> --------------------------
>>> A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
>>> hall. Music will follow.
>>> --------------------------
>>> At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice...
>>> --------------------------
>>> Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
>>> deceased person you want remembered.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
>>> entertainment and gracious hostility.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
>>> follow.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
>>> They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>>> --------------------------
>>> This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
>>> across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
>>> --------------------------
>>> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
>>> --------------------------
>>> The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
>>>
